The Vengeful Polyglot

Posts Tagged ‘makeup

I recently set out on a lipstick expedition to Nordstroms looking to fill out my rather-lacking collection. I came prepared with a list of products I had earmarked based on online reviews and asked the sales person to help me try on one after another. I knew, vaguely, what I wanted: a nude, a pink, and a plum. Within those categories, though, I was pretty much flying by the seat of my pants. I didn’t really understand what “temperature” my skin was (apparently, pink means “cool” — who knew?) or what colors would look good on me, aside from thinking they looked nice on other people. I had written down a lot of MAC, a lot of Bobbi Brown, some NARS.

Somehow, I wound up with two by Giorgio Armani.

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If you know me in real life, you probably have seen my compulsive need to buy boxes and organizers (which generally have little to no practical use) and then take rather obscene joy in finding something to put in them under the guise of “organizing.”

I really, really love doing this. So much so that I sometimes can’t stand using or being around things that aren’t put in order. My mom has some absolutely charming stories she likes to share with people I bring home about how my family used to enrage me up by messing with my meticulously organized blocks. You remember that Rugrats episode where Tommy trolls Chuckie by moving the wrong blocks to the wrong places? That was my childhood.

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In an attempt to recreate Saturday’s magic makeup encounter, I tried my new purchases for the second time tonight. In the interest of documenting my (questionable) success, I have taken many a MySpace bathroom photo to try and document my new “look.” I’ll also list out each of the products I used, in case anyone is interested.

Magic special makeup

This is the blurry phone pic I took right after the makeup artist did everything for me, used as reference. Please forgive the zombie fish face– when I smile, my eyes disappear, which is not conducive to seeing how they should look later on. It’s a really natural, basic look, but it’s good for me because I’m not comfortable with things being too heavy on a daily basis.

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There is absolutely something magical that happens when someone does your makeup for you. At least for me. Everything turns out right. They know exactly what to put where, and everything that takes you half an hour to do poorly is done in five seconds, perfectly.

I know it’s a faux pas to admit that I don’t have much idea what to do with myself in terms of “beauty.” On the rare occasion when I wear make-up, I have pretty much one thing I do with my eyes that looks okay and maybe I can vary the color slightly from time to time. The foundation and blush are static, and the lipsticks are pretty standard, too. Eyeliner (usually crooked, never properly smudged) or false eyelashes (thanks, high school musicals!) are pretty much as adventurous as I get. I know, logically, that when I make myself up it looks like I’m wearing very little, but I wear it so rarely that I always feel like there’s too much on. There’s just no balance. It’s not something I intrinsically get.

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Blog by a programmer cum linguist cum writer cum total geek. One who pretentiously uses "cum" in place of any other logical connectives. Direct questions to the Ask Lauren page!

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